so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i dont even know how to be here
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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