Jerry, you need to find god
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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