Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
