what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Randomize
