I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
