i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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