And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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