Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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