Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
