Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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