i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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