Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
