Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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