i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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