Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
