I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
