So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
