I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I need to calm my uterus...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
