i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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