Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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