Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
