This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
