im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
