After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
