So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
