He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
