hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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