He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
