I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
