I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
