I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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