My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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