I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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