you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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