I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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