like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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