That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
