Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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