Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
