question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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