Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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