Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
