My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
