Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
