David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
