At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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