my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
how does that bad decision feel?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
