the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
