did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
