went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
