He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
