is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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