I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
