The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
