Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
